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Weird day. Happy, cause I realized the clothes I found in the container are from 5 years ago, when I was maybe my lowest weight in 20 years. Disappointed, cause I still have clothes that fit - why aren't they all too big? Shocked/sad that my cousins son is 11 years old today. How can be 11 already? Sad because one of my parents friends from way back when I was a little girl passed away. I haven't seen him in years. My memories of him are so hazy and fuzzy cause I was so young but I recognize him in photos. My sadness is not so much for him but for the realization that a man just slightly older than my father is gone. The idea of losing either of my parents is so horrible I can't hardly stand to think of it. But now I am and it makes me so very sad. I didn't have cake at the birthday party. Or pizza. But I spent that long drive home trying to decide what food I want to order from what restaurant. A pre-surgery habit. In the end I had a bratwurst, cabbage and deviled egg. Not so much cause it's healthier but because I couldn't think of a place with food good enough to make me feel better with just a tiny amount. I mean, what's the point of splurging if you can only eat a little and that little bit isn't amazing? Not that my cooking is amazing. I'll probably have sugar free pudding later if I'm still feeling ... stuff.
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1320 kcal
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Fett: 65,06g | Eiw: 83,17g | Kohlh: 100,84g.
Frühstück: Premier Nutrition High Protein Shake - Chocolate. Mittagessen: McDonald's Bacon McDouble, McDonald's Caramel Iced Coffee (Medium). Abendessen: Deviled Egg, Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard, Margaret Holmes Seasoned Cabbage, Kroger Hot Dog Buns, Johnsonville Cheddar Brats. mehr...
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