Leah_guffey's Notizen, 13 Sep 24

Feeling a bit down today Ryan and I had a spat this morning and he said I was the reason he got passed up for promotion at work. He said he couldn't work as much as he needed to because I was sick and therefore he would never get a promotion because I would always be sick. He says to apologize for his outburst but they just keep rolling around my head. Not only do I take offense to the outburst that I'm the cause of him not getting the promotion because I work more than he does each week it just hurts my soul that he would feel that way in the first place I've always put the bread whatever our family had always put my income into the family first. I didn't choose to get sick but I don't want to be sick so it hurts my feelings that he would think such a thing much less vocalize it I know that he said sorry and that in his mind that the argument's over but I just don't know how I could forget such a thing. 

I'm sorry leah that must have been incredibly hurtful. we all say things we wish we could take back in anger but once those words come put you can't take them back. Hopefully you find a way past this. Wishing you the best  

Of course you'd still be upset. Anyone would be. 

Sorry he said that to you. I don’t get it. If you are working how does that make him not able to work more hours? 

That hurts. Im sorry Leah. I understand perfectly how you feel, and it sucks. I hope he can come to see the light of how that must have made you feel. Hugs, sweetheart.  

I agree with everything OTB said Leah. That must have hurt. Reading your posts it is very very evident how very much you always put your family and Ryan first. Even to your detriment in terms of your health. It’s hard to forget words but also hoping you can find a way to forgive and be at peace. Hurt feelings hurt.  

I am sorry but as a foreigner I see it from another space. Firstly - your husband has raised a problem, so it's not a personal attack, it's a team hurdle to face. How you go into this defines you. How can you come up with a solution that works for everybody? brainstorm and see what you can come up with. This is not personal, it's legit survival. Secondly tho - I'm appalled that your husband can't get a promotion without working overtime, and that you aren't being provided home help, or whatever it is you need, by your government due to your illness. You two are in the jaws of the pincer of the country you live in. It's not actually your husband's fault he's so strung out, providing for a family is a man's main identity and being unable to fulfil it is incredibly internal. Is there any way you can offset your needs (not knowing what they are, sorry, but understanding you are likely unable to work at the moment) so that he is free to rise up the pay scale at work? I mean - you need the money, right? How old are the kids? Can they help out?  

aww. so cute 

I learned, many years ago, not to ‘hit below the belt’, (so to speak) . It was a lesson from a Marriage Encounter hosted by our church. This lesson resonated with both of us and left a lasting impression. Coming up on 54 years together. I’m grateful for the teachers we listened to.  

I learned, many years ago, not to ‘hit below the belt’, (so to speak) . It was a lesson from a Marriage Encounter hosted by our church. This lesson resonated with both of us and left a lasting impression. Coming up on 54 years together. I’m grateful for the teachers we listened to.  

Oh Leah, I'm sorry you guys had "words" I understand that they can be incredibly hurtful. That being said, remember that they were said in a moment of insecurity, frustration, hurt etc by your husband and I hope he is regretful and expressed this to you. It isn't ok for your husband to place blame. It is certainly not your fault you are sick. You do work and seem to have the bulk of the responsibilities at home. Remind him of this. Focus on a plausible solution. I hope you guys work through this. 🩷🙏 

Not good Leah