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30 November 2010
i've been maintaining my weight for a while now (less occasional fluctuations due to water retention/pms/etc). But i'm scared.
every inch of food that enters my mouth poses a dilemma. I am hungry, but i feel that i'm already take in more amount of calories than i should be. and when i succumb to my junk food cravings, i feel like the most disgusting creature ever on earth.
i tried to switch my mindset around by eating healthy, cooked food and getting rid of junk food which originally makes up most of my restricted food intake, but it didn't last. I think of unhealthy food all the time. i need chocolate, sugar and all the savory snacks to keep my brain working.
i'm beginning to surf a lot on eating disorders, ana, skinny girl diet tumblrs recently. it scares me. i don't want to follow in these girls' footsteps in becoming anorexic/bulimic, i mean, neither can i bring myself to just eating 100 cal a day. but i find myself beginning to fantasize about getting so skinny that my collar bones, rib cages and hip bones protrudes like crazy.
am i mental?
(4 Kommentare)
15 September 2010
im gaining a whole lot of water weight and i wanna cry. I have no idea why am i so bloated 24/7. I have been drinking a lot of water, why won't my body deflate?
i hate my bloated tummy. is it possible to gain 1kg over 2 days?
(1 Kommentar)
13 September 2010
i've been eating less than required and bingeing (way more than required) on alternate days. Life sucks.
Gewicht:
Bisher verloren:
Still to go:
Diät befolgt:
43,8 kg
2,2 kg
1,3 kg
Recht gut
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konstantes Gewicht
08 September 2010
i totally gave up on counting calories and have been eating junk the whole of the day.
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02 September 2010
recently i'm able to curb my food intake during the day with a lot more ease as I don't feel as hungry that often. however, i began to realise i tend to binge the moment i get home and when i'm alone up in the night.
it's like a conditioning that i've done to myself: reach home, shower, pour a glass of water, and eat the chocolates/snacks while relaxing in front of the computer.
i think i need to stop the binging at night :(
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